There's good news and neither-good-nor-bad news: the neither-good-nor-bad news is that I have recently been personally convicted, and have shared with Olivia, that we may not be ready to enter full-time ministry yet. I had a morning several weeks ago in which I got home from FedEx about 7:30am, tried to get some more sleep as per the normal routine, but was unable to sleep at all, in spite of my exhaustion. I couldn't stop thinking about a list of goals we were given months ago at the church planter readiness seminar. The goals were designed for us to grow to a point of readiness. While they were given in the context of church planting, the goals were applicable to any ministry, and we have not made much progress on them.
We have not made any decisions regarding this, but we have spoken, prayed, and together agreed that Charlotte may need to be our home for a while longer. We have a great local church in which to grow and develop in the areas that were recommended to us. We are both currently employed in jobs that are meeting our needs. There is also a potential opportunity for free housing very near where we live now in return for doing apartment missionary work; something that would be a huge financial relief, and allow us to pursue several of our ministry-readiness goals at the same time.
In spite of this, we have not given up on the Badger State, nor on Tampa, FL. I am still in communication with both churches and we are still open to either one, if God opens the door and provides the means for us to work on these goals before going. But we do not want to jump into the deep end of full-time ministry before we learn to swim. Most of our ministry goals are marriage-focused and it occurred to us that, if we are struggling to work on these now, why would we think we could do it when in full-time ministry? We want to make sure we have a good foundation built for our future ministry, especially as we think about leaving a place that has become our home to go somewhere we would have to start over again.
All of this was very discouraging to me, personally. Since July 2012, the sole focus has been on finishing seminary and going into ministry ASAP. The idea of having to wait even longer to do that left me feeling confused and distraught about my future. But here's where the good news comes in. As many of you know, I was asked to preach my uncle Clint's funeral service this past week. It was a hard time, to be sure, as we had to say goodbye for now to a man we loved. But the response I received to my leading of the funeral service and preaching the sermon was very reassuring. I had a number of people comment on how it had blessed them, what a good job I had done, etc. I usually get uncomfortable hearing that kind of stuff, because I know how prone I am to getting a big head. But this time, I was comforted by it. It was as if God was reminding me that, yes, this is what I am called to do; just maybe not yet.
We love y'all and we'll keep you posted!
+ Blessings in Christ +
